Thursday, December 17, 2009

Flatulence is Never Not Funny

I recently intercepted a note in my 7th grade class, intended for R.T. The sender's name was not listed. I was hoping for some juicy, angsty 7th grade gossip, but instead I found this drawing:



I'm not sure why they are cross-eyed. Is it because the gas pressure is too much? Does the force of the fart cause the smaller ones to lean or even tumble? Fart jokes are certainly timeless.

If you give a kid some playdoh...

In my class, kids earn tickets for behavior, quiz grades, and turning in work on time. They can then use the tickets to buy prizes. 7th grader U.O. (of Oreo fame) traded his tickets for a small tub of playdoh. While I thought I'd made it clear that prizes are not to be used during class, this concept was clearly foreign to U.O. While monitoring students doing independent work, I came upon young U.O. who had created this masterpiece:



He may have covered his $50+ textbook in 25-cent goo, but at least he's sorry about it. I'm not sorry I had my camera in my purse that day. He thought I was taking a picture to show the principal. Little does he know that he's now an internet artist.

It'd be funny.

This is a submission I've been sitting on for awhile. 6th grader O.V. gave it to me during the first week of school and it's been hanging in my classroom ever since because I love it so much.



It was so timely with the death of famed moonwalker, Michael Jackson (on a side note, kids are obsessed with the King of Pop this year - I guess it's all the media attention). I love that the first one is specifically a dog puppy. And I am really curious about what the fifth kind of puppy could have been had she not changed her mind.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Where's Xavier Roberts when you need him?

A few weeks ago, I announced to my students that it was the 2 year anniversary of my wedding. 7th grader L.H. very seriously raises her hand and asks, "Are you going to get a baby?". I tried not to laugh at her selection of words and couldn't help but be reminded about the need for proper sex education in schools. But I guess a trip to the cabbage patch isn't entirely out of the question...

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Empty Threats


Yet another submission from 6th grader, B.K. In 6th grade we are currently studying Central America and the Caribbean. The assignment was to pick from a couple of choices for a writing assignment with a given role, audience, format and topic. B.K. chose to write a letter from the point of view of a Caribbean home addressing a hurricane to tell it that its presence doesn't damper the spirit of the islands. She took the assignment a little too seriously...

 I think this kid may need therapy in the future.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

A Loaded Question

After class one day, 6th grader K.M. comes up to me and says, "Mrs. A, I don't understand something". "What's that?", I ask. She says, "You're 25 and married, and you don't have any kids. My sister is 21 and she's not married and she has 3 kids".

How do you politely tell an 11 year old that her sister is a slut with a trio of bastard children? Well, you don't...at least you don't if you plan on keeping your job. My response was something like, "Everyone does things at different times. I'm sure you're a great aunt".

Yet another reason sex education beyond abstinence needs to be taught in public schools...

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Mmmm, Bacon

Today it was my 6th grade social studies students that provided the laughs.

Along with her writing assignment on why it's important to vote, J.A. included the following drawing:

You heard it here first, folks. If you don't vote, be prepared to cry a swamp of tears.


Then B.K. added some "embellishment" to her report about Canada:

 
Just so you know, she did include real Canadian facts under this random heading. Bacon? Burritos? After the previous Oreo incident, it is clear that my kids are preoccupied with food.

Monday, September 28, 2009

History is Infinite

Thanks to my 7th grade Texas History students, I have a few things to share this week.

In an assignment where the students were to write a summary to illustrate the relationship between a Native American group and the physical region in which they lived, I received the following two that had me laughing.

“Comanches Warriors would fight their enemies’ horses, to take it.” – K.C.
I can't help but to picture Comanches dukin' it out with some horses. Thanks K.C., and please talk to your English teacher.

“I can’t say the same for the Pueblo Culture, they should have left when they got their first chance….If you ask me they should’ve glued themselves to their few trees….If your still not convinced you might need to check out Seaworlds brochure. Honestly, I’d like to visit all of these regions but I’m stuck in the Central Plains, but that’s not stopping you from witnessing these great regions.” – U.O.
This wouldn't be that bad if he was in my 6th grade class, which studies contemporary culture and geography. I'm pretty sure the Native Americans who first settled in Texas were not persuaded by the glamour of SeaWorld.

Now another submission from the work of U.O. in 7th grade. The assignment was to create a book cover for a book about a Native American group. As you can see, he clearly had something else on his mind.



More LOLs coming soon!

Welcome!

After my experience as a camp counselor and now 6 weeks into my first year as a teacher, I've decided that I need a place to share my experiences. I have overheard many strange things and have received assignments that are just hilarious to read - and the best thing is that the kids aren't trying to be funny, they just are. I'll update as frequently as I come across new material. Also, feel free to submit any stories or examples of your own. Enjoy my new project!